A number of years ago, I considered my life to be a disaster. It’s not important to know what my issue was but, needless to say, my entire life revolved around it.
My issue would be the last thing on my mind at night and the first thing on my mind in the morning. I spoke about it to everyone who would listen - and I would speak about it endlessly.
I didn't realize at the time but people were actually avoiding me because I only ever spoke about my issue to them. Soon people were avoiding me so much that there was no-one left to speak to.
This situation went on for years and years. And it started me on a quest to find out why I was seemingly being tortured in this lifetime.
BAD KARMA
For years, I believed I had done something evil in previous lifetimes. And I wanted to know what I could have done that could have deserved so much “bad karma”.
My search for the resolution to my issue took me through almost every school of thought that exists and ate up a huge amount of money as I paid anyone and everyone who seemed to be able to shed some light on why things were going so wrong for me. But no-one seemed to give me a straight answer.
I was determined to find out why I was being singled out in this life. I would either figure it out or die trying. It was going to be one or the other, win or die. That's how absolutely determined I was to get to the bottom of this.
LOOK IN YOUR HEART
Then one day, after years had elapsed and I had resigned myself to a life of misery, I went to the house of a new friend. At the time, I didn't think I was going there for any particular reason.
She was quite psychically-gifted and as soon as I entered the house, she said there was an eight-feet-tall "being of light" (as she called it) who had accompanied me into the house and wanted to give me something.
I'm not psychically-gifted enough to see such things myself so I had to take her word for it.
I had been to psychic mediums before and was becoming quite resentful of them by then because all their answers seemed so vague and imprecise. And they would never clearly explain to me (it seemed) why this issue in my “life of disaster” was still there.
But this "being of light", that only my psychic friend could see, did something quite unusual.
My friend told me that it performed a very simple gesture that it wanted her to tell me about.
The gesture was simply to move its cupped hands down to its heart area and offer it to me, as though it was offering its heart to me. My friend told me it was as though that being of light was trying to say "look in your heart".
It was a stunning message to me at the time. All my life, I had always assumed something out there was forcing this issue into my life and this was the first time I had ever even considered that I might be doing it to myself.
My life changed completely forever in that single moment.
At first I was shocked at the realization that it was me doing it to me. And then I became angry, really angry.
SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH
Over the next few years, I went on a relentless - and I mean relentless - search to understand exactly how I could be doing all this to myself. I had so much desire and determination to find out the truth that I would let nothing stand in my way.
So much that I’ve learned about deliberate manifesting and the Law of Attraction, that others sometimes seem to benefit from, I know because of that search.
Years later and having grown much wiser as the result of my search, my issue is long gone and I live a happy and fulfilling life.
And when I look back at what I've learned in my life (and am able to share with others) as a result of that issue, I have immense appreciation for going through all that pain and struggle.
And now it's clear to me that I was being told again and again through different forms of communication (some from within myself and some from others) that I was doing it all to myself.
But it was only that unusual gesture from that mysterious "being of light" that finally got the message through to me.