by Stingray

What do you do when someone else blames you for their problems?

Even worse, what if it's someone you live with, so that it's difficult to get away from the emotional turmoil they inflict on you?


As hard as it can be to hear in the midst of a blaming session, it's never about the other person, it's always about you.

If it is true that we create every aspect of our realities (which it is) then we must also be creating the experience of other people blaming us for their own vibrational mishaps. There must be some element within us that is attracting that behavior from them.

So by changing the way you feel about them blaming you, they must change because you are attracting something different from them.

The trap here is not to attempt that change when you are in the midst of being blamed because your noticing of their behavior will probably keep dominating your awareness and keep dragging you back to your habitual vibration.

Work on yourself, by yourself

The time to attempt vibrational change is when they are not around (perhaps asleep), or even if they are in a good mood and you are enjoying being with them (if your relationship has not already deteriorated beyond that point).

Take those "alone" moments to move your vibrational setpoint (using whatever method you prefer) and then don't look for evidence of change from them.

Just make it your only target to be happy within yourself regardless of what they do and say (good or bad), and eventually the behavior from them will change - but by that time you will be so secure in your own vibration that you may not even notice.

I came across this Abraham quote and thought it would be worth adding here. The last sentence is especially insightful.

Guest: I love my job, but not how the boss treats the staff.                                    

Abraham: There's something really important that most people don't want to hear from us but we always tell them anyway: The way you're being treated is because of the vibration that you're offering and it feels the other way around. It feels like they're behaving a certain way and you're responding to it and it doesn't matter which came first, they can behave that way and you can respond, or you can have that vibration going on which evokes more of that behaviour. But it's a cycle that only you can change.                                             

Because if you're waiting for them to behave differently so that you can feel better, you're always going to be waiting for that because they're not that interested in creating your reality. You have to find a way of changing the way you're responding and when you do, they have to offer you something different, they just have to.                                                                                                     


You sort of have to do it at home, when you're not with them, to change the momentum. If we were in your physical shoes, we'd go home, we'd find a way of feeling better about it, and then we'd go to work and see if it fixed anything. Then, we'd take whatever comes, fall from the plane, no parachute, go home, try to get another vantage point, then we'd go to work the next day and see if it fixed anything.                                                                                                         

And before you know it, you're going to discover that you've accomplished a different point of attraction and things are going to shift. And what's going to shift is, sometimes that guy goes away and another guy comes in that's more in keeping with what you like. Sometimes you get fired. The Universe is very clever about the way it yields something, but when one door closes another one always opens. Or if you do it through alignment, the other door always opens before the other door closes.                                                                                  

Abraham-Hicks, Chicago, Il, 9/22/12

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